There you go down the hall on your knees
Following baby face’
Today it is ‘baby face’
Yesterday it was ‘little girl’
Long time ago it was ‘big boy’
You might need the other knee
Replaced at the rate you are going
You have never really been
Able to sit down
Reflect, meditate
Seemingly watching a good TV show
Or sewing or working in the garden
Provide your solace
While teaching you were gone 9-4
So limiting
Now your mind searches for the next
Creative endeavor
Holding a baby,
Sewing for a baby,
Introducing baby to their new world
But all of this at a price
3 PM finally arrives
Baby goes home
Grandma sitting, staring
Hair mussed, eyes glazed
Her life poured
Shared with the
New Life
Truly so giving

FXC 4/29/17

What do you mean
I’m lying
I’m telling you the truth!
What? Just because I say it doesn’t make it
The Truth
What?
You think there are two truths about the same thing
Is that even possible?
I wouldn’t lie.
Mom said never tell a lie
A world with two truths
Would be a parallel universe
So what?
One of the truths are ‘alternate facts?
Truths can be perceived
Differently by a different set of eyes
Or ears
I’m afraid this dichotomy
You refer to
Will not work
If there is no agreed upon truth
We become aliens to each other
So sad that our world
Might well be a hologram
But the TRUTH be told
You are part of the Dark Side
As truth, Universal Truth
Is anathema to the Dark Side.

FXC 4/29/17

Hmmm, Hmm slowly, very slowly examining
The different rooms
In my house
For their content and organization
There seems to be a priority
To the organization
Certainly in some of the rooms
Towels in a closet
Lots and lots of towels
Some for beaches, some for baths
Various, many various colors
Stacked high with out regard to their safety
Occasionally toppling on to the floor
Near a door that now will not close
Mental note
Rip every towel out of that closet
And out the door
But hey, hey what makes you think
This is an opportunity
For you to ‘clean house’
Now, hmm, hmm
The Lady of the house
In a moment of poor judgement
Or not understanding
That she has put her
Accumulation
In harms way
Has gone to visit her Mother
It is really just too much for me
Temptations come and go all the time
But not the type that you walk by
EVERYDAY
Now though discretion is mandated
Reorganization incognito!

FXC 4/13/17

So much purpose and drive
Fueling youth
Goals to be accomplished
Joys to be held high
Sorrows borne
Never really looking up
Never thought eternity
Had an end
Or at least mine didn’t seem to
Ah and it has been good, sweet
But sad and hard
Somedays barely able to understand
Why?
Other days
It didn’t matter
But today the mirror won’t
Let me look away
The price of life
Has taken its toll
The Grim Reaper marches
Ever closer
No longer my choice
As if it had ever been
To embrace the end
As I did the beginning.

FXC. 4/12/17

Hmmm! So confused, I am so confused
56 years! I have known you for fifty six years
But I have not seen you for fifty years
Surely you have been close enough to touch
In that time
A phone call, surely a phone call
Would have reached you
Sometimes I would see your name
On Facebook
Or another friend would mention your name
And yet I did not reach out
Hard to explain then
This need I have to learn about you
To make sure you are okay
To hear about your life
During the last 50 years
Too difficult
To recapture 50 years
So sad I have not reached out
But you did
And I love you so much more
That you have brought be back
Another unfinished chapter
In my life
Can continue to be written
Regrets of course
But regrets have no value
So I timidly begin
The journey of
Rediscovering you
Oh Lord, I am so grateful
For this chance.

FXC 3/4/17

To my dismay
I forgot I
Might not always be
Your cup of tea
That what started
In a frenzy
Might now be a fizzle
My role as the male
Has been a little simpler
And more selfish
Women so often
Do more, love more, give more
The fire from their soul
Moulds the truth of a
Relationship
In time I would be caught
For who I was
An interloper
Wanting to give my all
But oh so inadequate to do so
The fire that was needed
To raise children, provide income
Is now embers
The sparks I thought would
Warm our later years
Are just a glowing memory
Regrets lay heavily on me now
Once more I beg you
Blow the fire anew
I love you.

FXC 11/11/16

A flash of anger
The words spewed out
Unable to be retrieved
Almost immediately regretted
Never had I said something so wrong
To one I loved so much
But the words like thunder
Echoed through the tense air.
Now all I have is regret
For my indiscretion
Only prayer is left
Faith that what has been said
Can be forgiven.

FXC 10/22/16

Silly of me
You and I
So many conversation
Bantering, listening
Crying, learning
Silly of me
To forget
We were still two different worlds
Yours much younger but so much more
Responsibility
Mine, more surveying now
Enjoying
The memories
Silly of me to not accept
You are not I
Nor should you be
Nor could you remake me
Or even better make be better
At this late time
Ah, but that is the rub
I don’t need you to be better
Or different
As I am just remembering
The little girls eyes
That always memorized
Now I just watch
And embrace this time
This fading time
Of your face.

FXC 10/21/16

Why, why are you so mad?
Its been a good day
Good week
Watching a little grandchild
9-2
Our house becomes a Church
Shhh, Shhh she’s sleeping
A sanctuary filled with
Stroller and playpen
Musical swings that would
Make Mozart jealous
Bottles warmed and
Measured within degrees of acceptance
No need to be angry
It is our house
Our retirement paradise
That we have turned into
A nursery par excellence
Silence is maintained
With a finger to the lips
The Maitre de of NaNa’s
Is waited on as a queen bee
Should be
This is our second chance to get
Babies right
I got this
But ahh, yes my little one must
Be returned to her rightful owners
Her parents
Now is the time though
To run errands for an hour or so
Kohls of course is mandatory once a week
Volunteering another grandchild’s school
Cleaning at our church
But by dinner time whether you or I cook
It is time to rest and then
I head outside to work in the yard.
Why do you get so mad?

FXC 10/1/16

Slowly the feeling
Of unforgettable
Was in the air
As we sat
Watching
The parents with children
Walking by
Bicyclists
With bicycles
Fancy or not
The warm evening breeze
Washing over us
As the ocean shimmered
Couples sensing Romance
Strolling playfully by
Hmm we finally recognized
This was a moment
An unforgettable moment
Not to be repeated
Unable to be repeated
As we sought each others eyes
We knew, we knew
This was a moment
Our moment
Just ours
Describing it to others
Would not really work
Where would we be next year
Don’t know
How did we get here?
Can’t know
Praying and hoping
To save this moment
Because we know
This is our moment
And I love you.

FXC 9/23/16