The perfect touring bike

Low slung beautiful panniers

Forest green 21 speeds

Just meant for me

Surfing eBay for no good reason

Not eBay’s fault or for that matter Amazon

That temptation courses through my veins

Why would I need another bike

Where am I going to ride a 21 speed bike to

That can’t be accomplished with a yard sale bike

Oh but you don’t know this bike has my name on it

I’m getting in shape and this would help me accomplish all my goals

Like a Greek siren irresistible i feel myself swallow

With indecision, I know, I know

Where is this is going

Internal craziness

Springs forth

As ‘whatever’ blows by

Cigarette smoke,

Bourbon,

Guacamole, well okay any food

A seductive smile

Is there nothing sacred that I touch

To treasure without tiring of,

Like on a trampoline

Bouncing from one addiction to another

Most of my time

Putting out fires

My only blessing and one constant

You

FXC

4/11/19

First caught a glimpse of a spin class

On TV of course some show for just a minute

Usually just very fit people

Had to stop by the fitness club yesterday

Wanted to use the recumbent cycle

Thirty or forty minutes

Before I started my ‘workout’

I glanced in on the ‘spin class’

When from behind I heard

‘Hey, I thought you just walked around the neighborhood

I turned to see, of course, a young woman

Who I actually recognized but of course I did not remember her name

I replied, ‘True, true just thought I use the recumbent bike for a bit’

She responded, ‘ I really like to spin, you know the spin class’

Her efforts were obvious

Hair, water matting the ends

Sweat on her forehead which she wiped with her white towel

Flushed cheeks from exertion

Streamlined thighs

Feebly I explained the recumbent bike allowed me to go at my own pace

She said, ‘I need someone to make me try harder’

It was time for me to retire to my controlled exercise

Clearly there was a gap here in what we were both trying to achieve

Definitely I was trying to make it to dinner

While she understood she was going to help make dinner

Do the kids homework, etc. and come back tomorrow

To the spin class

FXC

4/10/19

Had a good friend once maybe too good

Relationships would be discussed

One subject was ‘where do we go from here’?

That concept was a minefield of possibilities

Go forward, backward or tread water

What had already been said or done

That brought us to this point

How had it changed us

Seriously

What would we do now

Everyday

Seriously now everyday?

Our relationship had now impinged

On every other one we shared

Looking in your eyes now

Who do I see

Behind those eyes

People peering through

People I should still be seeing

Too late to extract oneself

From us

Too late to go back?

Not really our choice

For all has been forever changed

FXC

4/10/19

So an allowance might have been nice

Possibly would have learned

The correlation between labor and wages

Or at least ‘if we do this we get that’

Much easier now

To reflect on how a life

Might have evolved differently

If we had raised ourselves

To produce a more desirable outcome

An outcome with a more love able person

Thus the behavior self portrait continues

Have a good close friend who is an artist

Am able to watch as

Hues and tones added

To soften the image

Bright or dark colors seem to blend

With his vision

Now our own self portrait continues

Proper money management lessons

Might have produced a savings account

Lights and darks to indicate

Profit and loss

Curves and lines

Defining borders of financial success

No sagging facial crevices

To blur the now beautiful image

Of a life well regulated

There does come a time

When blaming nature and nurture must cease

But what is our template?

When is our self portrait complete

Is it ever?

Why is money even a fit subject for self image?

It is like another ink blot

Describing us

Another drawer of our life

Which when opened

Reveals reams of dreams

Money when inherited or earned

Puts a brush in our hand

For us to create a visual

An ever evolving image of

Our own house money

And where has it all gone and why

FXC

4/10/19

Mm mm mm

Just completed

The twenty five budget review

Every twenty five years

Whether needed or not

Various templates are perused

For one that possesses Ai

That intuitively knows

What is being done with “our books”

Don’t know if they can be considered books

If left unread

Have learned quite clearly that spreadsheets

Are clearly meant for math majors

Or someone with a schematic mind

Thus ‘a document’ must suffice

That I might clearly add income and bills

Then simply add and subtract and

A proposed budget emerges

Actually available money for necessities like food

Now you talk about a hot date

Try discussing this with your significant other

Over coffee, maybe

But it definitely is not appropriate table talk at dinner

Many things can be brought into the light of day

If sunglasses are an accessory

For the harsh realities of a budget

And yet there is closeness in sharing

Even if you don’t want to

Far better to glance at the paperwork now

Prior to Balancing the Checkbook

FXC

4/9/19

Still dark sitting outside

Rocking gently

T shirt weather

Pajama bottoms

Oh my gosh

Does the adrenalin flow

Aided by caffeine

Before the sun

States it’s case for

Beginning the day

Understanding perfectly

This moment

Is only a moment

To inhale the intoxicating morning air

Time to be smothered

In the confidence

Of a new day

Before the routine

And to do lists

Rob the morning of its joy

No Galway Bay nor beach

Can replace

This morning moment

Embued with peace and hope

FXC

4/8/19

Well too busy

Nothing original to say

No clear vision of what should be

Too young

Too old

Nonetheless

There are a bundle of ideas

Between a birth announcement

And an obituary

Thought obituaries were obligatory

A legal necessity to prove your demise

Well actually not

Just a method to procure ad money and

Maybe get a snippet summary of your life story

As if they covered obituary writing in school

No actually you educate yourself by reading the paper

Don’t get the paper

Online you can

Don’t care enough?

Fine leave it to a professional or even more precarious

A family member who might have a motive, or agenda

Or might even be saving the best for last, theirs

So theoretically quite a span to reflect

Birthdate and RIP date

Any interesting observations as you have progressed chronologically

Care to share

Now would be the time

Before the flame is snuffed out

Suffice it to say

Only your voice qualifies as an original

Others’ reflections of you are just that

Theirs’

Consider this an invitation

To give to us what only you can

You

FXC

4/8/19

Much is made of the change of seasons

Punxsutawney Phil

Would have you believe

On Groundhog Day

He is able to predict an

Early or late spring

The Farmer’s Almanac

Is a veritable bible

Of weather forecasting

But those sources really fall short

When compared

To the bathing suit hanging in my shower

What? What is that about?

So for many years the inside scoop or information

On weather forecasting

Was lost on me

Too busy rambling through life

To even notice or care about the seasons

I did know Memorial Day marked the opening of the pool

That Labor Day usually marked the end of the really hot days

But really what method was available

To officially announce the arrival of summer and

The end of summer

The answer only filtered through to my brain

When I lost my bathroom privileges in the master bedroom

At some point

When we ended up having a two bath house

The master bathroom became a hallowed tabernacle

Now known as the lady of the house’s TOILETTE

Obviously a little used word old school word

To indicate that the once multi used bathroom

Had now become the principal bathroom for the lady of the house

Guess I was lucky to have a full bath as opposed to a half-bath

Nonetheless I felt secure that my new bath was just mine

Well just mine unless, we had visitors or grandchildren

In which case before anyone came over I had to clean the bath

It was during one of these episodes I first noticed

An item from the TOILETTE

Was now hanging on my curtain rod

A bathing suit and a wet towel

Hmm! Could it be the pool was open

Or was the indoor pool being used to prepare

For Memorial Day

So the tanning lotion on the grocery list

Did have a purpose

Not exactly sure

Why no request was made to share my facilities

Presumptions after fifty years

I suppose are to be expected

And the chlorine

Certainly left a seasonal scent

To my otherwise musty environment

But no complaints actually

Now had irrefutable evidence

The warm season was here

No more snow or ice

And when the suit no longer hung

The cooler season was soon arriving

Like having my own weather channel

FXC

4/7/19

So, as one might review their lives

Occasionally themes may emerge

Items the individuals wanted

To emphasize in their lives

Being a good father,a faithful husband,

Provide, friend

Needless to say the list is endless

Of benchmarks we wanted to display

As our legacy

And yet left out of our voluminous history

Is potentially a controversial subject

DOUGHNUTS

Sit tight now

As this subject is not to be taken lightly

Most of us

Have been touched by the subject of doughnuts

We wouldn’t even know of doughnuts

If a family member

Had not introduced them to us

Maybe a grandparent visiting on a Sunday morning

Please, please don’t try to act like your nose was upturned

As you first saw and then smelled Sunday morning doughnuts

Childhood curiosity would have drawn

You to the box

And while we are on the subject of doughnuts in a box

I believe the first lesson doughnut shops teach their new employees

Is how to scotch tape a doughnut box

It is easier to break into a bank vault than it is to open a doughnut box

A knife or scissor are required to open the box

So there then as we have all stood peering into the box

As if our laser eyes could procure our most desired selection

Quickly our first choices are gone

We learn then by attrition our preferences

We also learn that a dozen doughnuts in a large family

Is inadequate

But the grandparent has cemented their legacy with

The gift of doughnuts

A legacy that now you will pass on

No, no don’t tell me doughnuts are not healthy

Sugar and starch are the hallmarks of enticement to eat

We all battle the smell, the taste even the appearance of a sweet, sweet doughnut

Thus there is always more than one doughnut shop in any city of size

You were brought up so that as you learned to drive

You learned where your closest shops were

Starting a family though other shops were discovered

There are even vegetarian doughnuts, “that’s not right”

Naturally arguments ensue

As to whether there is addiction involved

Mere verbiage

Other obsessions are allowed fresh terminology

Why can’t ‘ambience’ or ‘aficionado’ be used

Maybe if visiting a doughnut shop

Becomes a daily trip as opposed to a weekly occurrence

But that is what abstinence is for isn’t it?

So again our choices are murky

Ensure the children appreciate sweets

Or ensure they don’t

Good Luck with that!

FXC

4/6/19

So many things

Define how a person matches up

With the template of who they should really be

We are born and then nurtured with

Trite sayings, like, “You can tell a man by the shine of his shoes”

Or, “You don’t see so and so doing that, don’t you do it”

It is as if the panorama of the sky has floating instructions

On how you should lead your life

But there are limits

One is that a person should be organized

Clean their room, their house, be clean,

Be kind to others, feed the hungry

Finally we all become aware we will not

Accomplish all we need to in this lifetime

And yet there seems to be one or two goals

That scream for attention

One is FILING

Yes, yes and yet it is held up as the mark

Of an organized person, a competent administrator of their own lives

For years paperwork can be piled

In the file cabinet

Once a year the material is perused

Accounts closed and tossed

One or two folders established

Others discarded

There really is no strategy

To make sense of a file cabinet

But then one day

Don’t know why it was one day

It was just like any day

Maybe time had eliminated most of the files

Now with the house paid off, the cars paid off

Credit cards at a minimum

Now does it just make sense

To leave a legacy

To prove that we had measured up

To one of life’s goals

Another item on the bucket list completed

It is as if we could hermetically seal

The file cabinet drawers

We have completed that task

The assigned duty to be organized

And yet

So what now?

FXC

4/5/19