A well versed lawyer familiar

With the machinations of the court room

Would often finish conversations

With the phrase

‘It is what it is’

Which I took to mean

Nothing I could do about it

Over the years though

Often heard the same phrase from others

As if an unknown pallor had descended on all of us

Yet, felt as if the phrase was meant as a cure all

To explain good news, bad news, no news

Finally learned its real purpose

Was to reduce anxiety

A free elixir to alleviate

General uneasiness brewing within us

Well that’s okay

’It is what it is’

FXC frankxcameron.com 03/21/2021 Copyright

Traveling as often we do

To and fro

Eleven years now

So small and petite when our journeys began

There was always a destination in our plans

Life is just a chance

You were my moment to stay in the game

Aging grandfathers can flower in Florida

Letting their little ones visit

Or on the flip of a coin

Find themselves basking in the sunshine

Of their growing protege

Your first name was Princess

So always knew there was an accountability

Of our conversations

Actually my long background

Dealing with women

Prepared me to understand

Time was at a premium

Soon you would be back in school

Friends, sports, dating, career

Our time together but a memory

This past year so long

So much school work, playing, iPads, snacks, traveling

That changed today

School started back

While micromanaging your exit from the vehicle

Extolled your virtues once again

Spoke of missing you

Then your arms wrapped around my neck

Your face close to mine

You whispered, ‘Bye Papa’

Thank goodness I was wearing a mask

FXC frankxcameron.com  03/18/2021 Copyright

• As if competing with the gods

Your eyes often transfixed upwards

Memorized by the moving clouds

Creation has always been your strength

Today is no different

Asked to paint clouds on a ceiling

You assembled your tools of creativity

But the vision remains in your mind

You feel the warm wind gently blowing

Cirrus clouds

Your scaffolding is two step stools

Hands gnarled with arthritis

But those white clouds need your touch

To exist

Please though, at 71, don’t fade into your art

FXC frankxcameron.com. 03/06/2021 Copyright

Was contacted by a family member

About our relationship

Fortunately was on good terms with this individual

But got me to wondering about those behind me and to the side

Started the search the usual way parents, grandparents

Became fascinated with the pictures

Couldn’t see  myself in any of those tin type looking pictures

Occasionally my mind would wonder

Mentally trying to picture their environment

Always sympathetic to those without indoor plumbing

But I digress

And though I wish there were biographies of my ancestors

All that really exists is conjecture

Came to understand there was strong possibility we are all related

Bad news there

I have not always treated others right

Glad I don’t have to many followers on this blog

Or I would be hearing from them

Even blocked a friend of forty years on Facebook book for his political views

Good Lord help me

Redemption is possible though

Started Zooming with outlying family members

Who I had neglected for years

So, so grateful for a second chance

To once again be called their brother!

FXC frankxcameron.com 3/6/2021 Copyright

A close confidant divulged

That new words are being added

To the Webster dictionary every year

How exciting!

Seemingly the culture is changing

God forbid a lexicon would not be updated

Truly a serendipity moment

As objects I once knew as ‘whatchamacallit’

Now would have a specific name

Each of us has our own personal vision

Of what a ‘thing’ is

Periodically that vision is not able to be vocalized

As the picture of that object in our mind

Like a card in a deck of cards

Gets lost like in a ‘52 pick up game’

The eyes search inward as a roulette wheel

Tries to spit out possibilities

No point, eyes with fixed glaze

Join hands with the mind

Announcing a new name for the irascible object

’Whatchamacallit’

FXC frankxcameron.com 3/3/2021 Copyright

In hushed conversations

Heard rumors

Questions about your memory

Medicines and therapies adopted

To slow the process down

You and I talked

Actually more than we had in years

Talked about memories

Our memories, family memories

Honestly my memory has also lost its zest

Have had other close friends awash in this vacuum

That seemingly erodes

‘How precious memory is’ you repeat to me

Asking me to send pictures, stories I remember

That might light the embers of what is receding relentlessly

This void I’ve seen in others

The bewilderment in their eyes

As if their very existence is being erased

We cling to each other now

Still so calm you are

As always you have been

Starting my search for old pictures of us

To retell our story that we might talk again

When you see my name on

Caller id

FXC frankxcameron.com 2/28/2020 Copyright

Introspection clearly a Houdini trick

Meant to be social

The evening or the early morning

Relaxes our shoulders

As we slump into reflection

On the finished day or the day to finish

But so fulfilling

To reminisce or meditate

On what has been or what will be

Usually of the opinion

Reality can be modified

By effort

Scuffling, shoving eventually tires the soul

Till the fatigue itself

Begins a healing

Reconciling

Being alone

Such a sweet, sweet personal moment!

FXC 2/7/2021 frankxcameron.com Copyright

Sleep apnea mask removed

Coffee turned on

News scrutinized and dismissed

Clothes assembled

The To Do list located and modified

Dishes put away, dog fed and watered

Laundry put on, breakfast prepared

Small grocery run if necessary

1st grandchild picked up and taken to NaNa

Decaf started for NaNa

2nd grandchild picked up while NaNa takes 1st grandchild to school

2nd grandchild arrives in time for online class with NaNa

School, play, lunch, squabbles, hugs and fun

Till dinner preparations begin

Children taken back to their respective homes

Very small talk at dinner

But then the culmination of the day

7PM Wheel of Fortune and Jeapordy

Alleluia! Collapsing in complete joy

Patting ourselves on the back for another day well done

Thank the Lord for structure

FXC frankxcameron.com 1/31/2021 Copyright

Thousands of pictures

iPhones make memories so easy

Some so sad though of those no longer with us

Others reminding us of the joy

Of a wistful summer day by a backyard pool

The frigid creation of a snowman from 3 inches of snow

Or the mesmerizing color splashes of fall leaves

Yet the most cherished are those of eyes

Tired eyes, searching

Young eyes exploring

Beautiful eyes, glancing, flitting, confident, coy,

Yet never met anyone who didn’t know or understand

I was seeking to capture their souls through their eyes

Some knew that would be the most beautiful picture of all

Today, this very day

Your eyes warm my world

FXC 1/30/2021 frankxcameron.com. Copyright

So may years camping in a tent with little ones then older ones

Thought about that again but cots just don’t quite do it now

Needed something that didn’t require a 2nd mortgage

Walla! The pop-up

2 burner stove, small refrigerator, heated bed

Assisted heating and air conditioning but most critical

Small potty area

Thank goodness we have been confined so long

The lockdown made us look for freedom

Fresh air, dark roast coffee, no dangerous crowds, campfire

No need for planes, trains, or busses

Traveling at our own pace

Away from Zoom

To see you, to hold you again

Tomorrow is not promised

Need you today

FXC frankxcameron.com 1/15/21 Copyright