So, as one might review their lives

Occasionally themes may emerge

Items the individuals wanted

To emphasize in their lives

Being a good father,a faithful husband,

Provide, friend

Needless to say the list is endless

Of benchmarks we wanted to display

As our legacy

And yet left out of our voluminous history

Is potentially a controversial subject

DOUGHNUTS

Sit tight now

As this subject is not to be taken lightly

Most of us

Have been touched by the subject of doughnuts

We wouldn’t even know of doughnuts

If a family member

Had not introduced them to us

Maybe a grandparent visiting on a Sunday morning

Please, please don’t try to act like your nose was upturned

As you first saw and then smelled Sunday morning doughnuts

Childhood curiosity would have drawn

You to the box

And while we are on the subject of doughnuts in a box

I believe the first lesson doughnut shops teach their new employees

Is how to scotch tape a doughnut box

It is easier to break into a bank vault than it is to open a doughnut box

A knife or scissor are required to open the box

So there then as we have all stood peering into the box

As if our laser eyes could procure our most desired selection

Quickly our first choices are gone

We learn then by attrition our preferences

We also learn that a dozen doughnuts in a large family

Is inadequate

But the grandparent has cemented their legacy with

The gift of doughnuts

A legacy that now you will pass on

No, no don’t tell me doughnuts are not healthy

Sugar and starch are the hallmarks of enticement to eat

We all battle the smell, the taste even the appearance of a sweet, sweet doughnut

Thus there is always more than one doughnut shop in any city of size

You were brought up so that as you learned to drive

You learned where your closest shops were

Starting a family though other shops were discovered

There are even vegetarian doughnuts, “that’s not right”

Naturally arguments ensue

As to whether there is addiction involved

Mere verbiage

Other obsessions are allowed fresh terminology

Why can’t ‘ambience’ or ‘aficionado’ be used

Maybe if visiting a doughnut shop

Becomes a daily trip as opposed to a weekly occurrence

But that is what abstinence is for isn’t it?

So again our choices are murky

Ensure the children appreciate sweets

Or ensure they don’t

Good Luck with that!

FXC

4/6/19

So many things

Define how a person matches up

With the template of who they should really be

We are born and then nurtured with

Trite sayings, like, “You can tell a man by the shine of his shoes”

Or, “You don’t see so and so doing that, don’t you do it”

It is as if the panorama of the sky has floating instructions

On how you should lead your life

But there are limits

One is that a person should be organized

Clean their room, their house, be clean,

Be kind to others, feed the hungry

Finally we all become aware we will not

Accomplish all we need to in this lifetime

And yet there seems to be one or two goals

That scream for attention

One is FILING

Yes, yes and yet it is held up as the mark

Of an organized person, a competent administrator of their own lives

For years paperwork can be piled

In the file cabinet

Once a year the material is perused

Accounts closed and tossed

One or two folders established

Others discarded

There really is no strategy

To make sense of a file cabinet

But then one day

Don’t know why it was one day

It was just like any day

Maybe time had eliminated most of the files

Now with the house paid off, the cars paid off

Credit cards at a minimum

Now does it just make sense

To leave a legacy

To prove that we had measured up

To one of life’s goals

Another item on the bucket list completed

It is as if we could hermetically seal

The file cabinet drawers

We have completed that task

The assigned duty to be organized

And yet

So what now?

FXC

4/5/19

USPS delivered a heavy box

To our door Saturday

Securely taped

From a distant relative

Not really expecting anything

But it was a fancy scrapbook of

The life of my father

Thomas Joseph Cameron

Born April 06 1911

Left us June 29th 1969

It must have been in a safety deposit book

Appeared untouched all these years

Fumbling through the plastic covers of the pictures

Trying to explain who this man was too my family

Pictures, newspaper articles

Since he was eleven years old

Never really got a chance

To know you

Saw you every day

Talked to you every day

But pretty much about the routine

Of a father and his eldest son

Fixed up a bike for my first bike

Flew model airplanes

Played catch

Every spring you would plant

Grass seed where the neighborhood kids

Would play marbles

Ever hopeful

That nonetheless grass would grow

As a child it is difficult to remember many details

Especially now 50 years later after you left

Went on family camping adventures

With seven children and grandma

Driving our green VW bus

A Salem light clinched between your teeth

Had your youngest child at 50

Don’t really know how you and Mom did it

Don’t know if we were any different than many families

Of that period, many children and little money

Parents legacy waxes and wanes

Pretty much just within their offspring

Others just knew of you for the most part

So who were you Tom Cameron

I’m afraid you left too quickly

For a summation of your life

By a nineteen year old

Actually now that I am an older parent

I too am experiencing the different views

That children have of their parents

Used to try to explain the juxtaposed opinions

Now I understand it’s part of the process

I miss you but still only visual memories

From antiquated Polaroid and old Super 8 films

Remain to bring you to mind

How would you look today

Can’t know

But Tom Cameron you are still here

In me, my children and my grandchildren

I love you

And poor Dad in this life there really are no

Do Overs

FXC

4/3/19

Couldn’t take the time

To get away

To far to drive

To many previous commitments

To reschedule

To expensive

To be with you for a three day weekend

But they were our friends

And their child was getting married

To the love of his life

It was a long drive

But the weather was sunny and little traffic

Seeing old friends

In the true sense of the word

Was really welcome

Too long, too long between conversations

The rehearsal dinner

Was as you might expect

Geared for welcoming a new family and friends

Lots of standing on somewhat wobbly legs

Staying up later than normal

But the noise level was a barometer of the excitement

And then Saturday

Got a wonderful weather day, 71 and sunglasses were required

Spent the day visiting a pedestrian mall

Which if we had not come to the wedding

We might never have enjoyed

So perfect to spend time with you

Fifty years later, pretty much, I just want to spend time with you

And yet the purpose of the trip was in the evening

An early evening wedding, outside facing a luscious landscape

Everyone ‘dressed to the nines’

Excitement building

As the wedding party began their entrance

A small ensemble of musicians

Serenaded

Then the wedding couple took center stage

Beaming with joy

So glad that this moment had finally arrived

Such unmitigated happiness

Seemed to radiate over us

So wonderful,

To witness, again

The beginning of love

FXC

3/31/19

1981-1996

The millennial birth span

Interesting group to Baby Boomers

Scads of articles and books about that group

They are

Skeptical of owning homes

Very doubtful of Government safety nets

Don’t trust private companies long term

Want unique interesting jobs

See no reason to wait for an intimate relationship

See no reason to stay in an intimate relationship

Marriage and children are not necessary requirements to be happy

There are lessons here for the Baby Boomers

To this point there is a decided difference in perspective

Between these two groups

Does that perspective matter?

Does one generation need to revisit their beliefs

Or acquiesce to the following generations beliefs

First let it be stated

“There is no behavior that goes unrewarded”

Multiple factors produce or change beliefs and attitudes

War, economy, scandal, poverty, race, media, religion, family

So that this does not become a tome it is necessary

To limit this epistle to one possible explanation

For some of the changes across generations

That might diminish

The message the Baby Boomers

Could bequeath to the next generations

Constancy and just one aspect of constancy of belief

Specifically there is no valid rationale or explanation

For intimate relationships prior to a lifetime commitment

What? Are you crazy?

Who believes that anymore?

You do, that’s who

Simple logic

Is a life mate chosen by sampling?

Theoretically choices are made by

Understanding self, your best self and

Then recognizing those qualities in others

‘Hooking up’ is an option for those creatures

Unable to procreate intelligent beings

Respect and honor are the underpinnings

For a long term relationship

Granted with a fifty per cent divorce rate

Previous generations do not prove

That abstinence prior to commitment

Is any guarantee for a long term relationship

But continued faith in the principle bolsters the effort

Is this disparity of belief and practice

Between Baby Boomers and Millennials

A direct reflection on the loss of vision by Baby Boomers?

Yes

The ‘path of least resistance’ is to ‘close ones’ eyes’

Not comment or not maintain the belief

That a long term committed relationship

Is the true indicator of respect and honor

Between a couple

Allowing, society to glorify or minimize commitment

Blurs and degrades

Adherence to our view of ourselves and others is crucial

As one generation leaves their core beliefs to the next

Respect and honor begin with personal relationships

FXC

3/31/19